Legends of the Hidden Temple
by Murakumo
Summary: Ever remember Legends of the Hidden Temple, with Olmec? Well Weiss, Schwarz, and Schrient all get stuck on the show, and everything goes wrong.. 5 chapters up-loaded=complete!
1. Legends of the Hidden Temple: Chp.1 Back...

Chapter 1 BackStage **I DO NOT OWN WEISS KREUZ OR ANY OF THE NICK CHARACTERS**  
  
**The scene is set on a large stage that resembles the outside of a temple, vines and all. A large seating area is located in the back for the audience, and there is a large (------) pool of water with ropes across it and other poles. There is also an assortment of rooms in the far right area that resembles the inside of a temple, and has no wall facing the audience, allowing them to look in. There is a large stone head on the right side, a little in front of the temple, with 2 tall stands that are usuaully lit. The other parts of the vast stage are covered by 3 other games and some other areas that are open. There is also a bar like structure located far off screen, near the temple. There are a bunch of people fixing up the set and walking around to fix the stage**  
  
**All the members of Weiss, Schwarz, and Schreient come out from two dressing rooms wearing shirts, shorts, helmets, gloves, and some under- water shoes. Hell and Neu have a red shirt on with a jaguar on it. Aya and Yohji have blue shirts with some barracudas on it. Farfello and Ken have a green shirt on with a monkey on it. Tot and Schoen have a picture of an iguana on an orange shirt. Nagi and Omi have purple shirt with a parrot on it. Crawford and Schuldig are wearing a snake on a silver shirt**  
  
Hell: These out-fits suck! Why on earth do we have to wear this tasteless gear?  
  
Neu: Why do I have to wear gloves? They hide my beautiful nails! *flaunts nails*  
  
Omi: This out-fit is way too big! *shirt hangs down to his knees*  
  
Farfello: I'll help you! *pulls out knifes*  
  
Nagi: Aahhh!! UGH! WHY PURPLE?  
  
Tot: I'd rather have a vacation. Orange is almost as bad as having silver on...  
  
Crawford: *jumps up* I happen to like silver!!!  
  
Schuldig: Looks like some one is a bit grouchy...  
  
Aya: Shi-ne! Why do I have to dress up?  
  
Yohji: Cause its part of the game. I bet the ladies love blue. *winks at Schoen*  
  
Schoen: A lady can't wear this? Why is there an animal on my shirt?  
  
Yohji: Cause baby, i'll dive the deep for you! *winks at Schoen again*  
  
Schoen: *pulls out whip* Sick bastard!!!  
  
Farfello: Does green hurt god?  
  
Schuldig: I think so?!  
  
Farfello: Do monkey's hurt god?  
  
Ken: I don't know? Why are you asking me? And why am I wearing a green shirt with a monkey on it?  
  
Farfello: Yay! Green monkeys hurt god!  
  
Crawford: I still don't know why we have to do this...  
  
Aya: Shi-ne! Stupid shirts, stupid game..  
  
Neu: I think I look great in my out-fit.  
  
Hell: Red is definitely your color!  
  
Ken: Why am I here?  
  
Tot: Why are we all dressed up for this game?  
  
Schuldig: Because of one very important reason!  
  
Schoen: We have a reason?  
  
Farfello: Does it hurt god?  
  
Omi: God?  
  
Nagi: No wait, the reason we're here is....  
  
Yohji: To seek out the women of america!  
  
Everyone but Yohji: 0_0  
  
Farfello: To hurt god!  
  
Aya: Shi-ne!  
  
Neu: For fashionable merchandise!  
  
Hell: To look great!  
  
Schoen: To prevail like women everywhere!  
  
Tot: To show men that they suck!  
  
Nagi: To be cute and cudley!  
  
Omi: To screw with people's minds!  
  
Ken: To..um...do...um...things.  
  
Schuldig: To read other's minds!! *winks at Ken*  
  
Ken: o_o  
  
Crawford: To prove we are the best!  
  
Aya: Shi-ne! I know why..  
  
Yohji: Cause its a tax write off!  
  
Hell: A WHAT???  
  
Tot: *laughs uncontrollably and falls over* Your funny...  
  
Yohji: The Blue Barracudas are always ready for a swim of any kind.. :)  
  
Aya: The what?  
  
Farfie: I KNOW WHY!!!!  
  
Omi: Oh dear..  
  
Nagi: *crosses fingers* Pease let it not have anything to do with hurting god..  
  
Schuldig: Its because of Ken!!!! *points a finger at Ken*  
  
Ken: But I.....  
  
Aya: *pulls out katana* Shi-ne..  
  
Crawford: Actually its to pay off all the damage that Ken caused when he was caught wearing a dress while singing under the disco ball at Disney Land.  
  
Everyone but Ken: O_O  
  
Ken: I was uh...  
  
*Everyone chases after Ken*  
  
Farfie: Forget about it!  
  
Schuldig: Yep, I can read his mind and he's got no brain...  
  
Tot: *still laughing* Hahahaha..  
  
Schoen: Oh well, might as well try and have fun, and win some prizes..  
  
Nagi: Yep! Omi and I can't win!  
  
Omi: Don't you mean can't lose?  
  
Neu: Fools..  
  
Crawford: Ha! You'll never get through my team!  
  
Ken: Wait!  
  
Omi: What?  
  
Ken: What are the teams?  
  
*A man from backstage walks out to the group*  
  
Man: I'm Kirk Fogg, the host of the show. (He is wearing a blue shirt, gray shorts, and brown boots)  
  
Farfie: What show? Aya: The show we're playing on stupid!  
  
Yohji: Where are all the women?  
  
Tot: *still laughing* Hahaha...  
  
Schuldig: What's so funny?  
  
Tot: *stops laughing* Ah... I don't know?  
  
Schoen: Wait, I think the man is going to say something..  
  
Ken: Listen..  
  
Kirk Fogg: This is, "Legends of the Hidden Temple". I am the host, and that *points to a big stone face* is Olmec!  
  
Yohji: Wow!!!  
  
Aya: *pulls of katana* This one's mine!  
  
Tot: *begins to laugh again* Its a giant stone, haha!  
  
Hell: I think its ugly.  
  
Neu: No one asked your opinion.  
  
Crawford: Looks old...  
  
Omi: I think its computerized..  
  
Ken: It resembles a god..  
  
Farfie: GOD?  
  
Kirk Fogg: What?  
  
Nagi: Oh no..  
  
Farfie: *pulls out knives and licks one of them* HURT GOD!!!  
  
Yohji: NO!! This isn't GOD!  
  
Farfie: It isn't?  
  
Aya: Nope, its the..um... A talking stone..  
  
Omi: Wow! *Looks up*  
  
Crawford: Its a different type of god..  
  
Farfie: Yay! False gods hurt god!  
  
Tot: *still laughing* Its a talking stone..haha..  
  
Olmec: *comes to life, and red eyes open up* Oh yeah!  
  
Aya: *runs at it with his Katana* Die!  
  
Omi: No wait..  
  
Schuldig: Its talking?!  
  
Tot: *still laughing* He's attacking a stone..  
  
Farfie: IT HURTS GOD!! YAY! IT HURTS GOD! *is dancing in a circle with himself*  
  
Kirk Fogg: *_*  
  
Olmec: Lets get ready to rock and roll!!! *eyes close and stone stops talking*  
  
Farfie: OLMEC HURTS GOD!! *juggles the knives*  
  
Kirk Fogg: Is he always like this?  
  
Tot: *is laughing on the ground* Haha, a talking stone..  
  
Crawford: Shut-up Farfello!!!  
  
Schuldig: I'm afraid so. He's always like this.  
  
Omi: So how do we play?  
  
Nagi: I like games!  
  
Schoen: *is practicing with her whip* Ah, I love to humiliate people..  
  
Ken: We are going to play games, Cool!  
  
Hell: What type of games?  
  
Yohji: Are there any women involved?  
  
Kirk Fogg: Now listen, you guys are paired up and put on teams.  
  
Aya: Shi-ne! What teams?  
  
Farfie: OLMEC HURTS GOD!!  
  
Neu: Will someone shut him up?  
  
Hell: Please!  
  
Schoen: *hits Farfello in the head with her whip* YA!  
  
Farfie: Ahh!!! X_X  
  
Crawford: Thank you.  
  
Tot: Hahahaha, she hit him with her whip..  
  
Schuldig: This is really bad..  
  
Ken: What teams?  
  
Schuldig: I want Ken on my team. *winks at Ken*  
  
Ken: No way!  
  
Omi: I want Nagi!  
  
Nagi: I want Omi!  
  
Yohji: You two mean on the same team, right?  
  
Omi: Teams?  
  
Nagi: Oouuhhh.... Couples you mean?  
  
Schoen: Not couples, team members for the t.v. show.  
  
Farfie: X_X  
  
Ken: So, what are the teams?  
  
Kirk Fogg: Normally we have one male, one female, but in this case, i'll record the teams on what you all have on..  
  
Tot: *finally stopped laughing* Wait! You mean we are teamed by symbols and shirts?  
  
Kirk Fogg: Yep! What ever team symbol and color you have, thats the team your on.  
  
Everyone: *closes their eyes*  
  
Neu: Crap! :( I'm with who ever has a jaguar and red on..  
  
Yohji: *crosses fingers* Come on Red, come on Red!  
  
Aya: Closes eyes and crosses fingers* Please not Yohji, please no Yohji!  
  
Schuldig: *jumping up and down* Please let me have Ken, please let me have Ken..  
  
Crawford: *looks at shirt* I hope Schuldig doesn't wear silver..  
  
Tot: Let it be Nagi!  
  
Schoen: No men..  
  
Ken: No Schuldig...  
  
Farfello: X_X..  
  
Everyone but Farfello: No Farfello.. No Farfello...  
  
Kirk Fogg: Well lets see...the teams.. *pulls out a clip-board with some papers on it*  
  
Aya: Stupid games..  
  
Kirk Fogg: *looks at what each person has on* Well..  
  
Farfie: *regains consciousness* We're doing what now?  
  
Kirk Fogg: *writes down the teams and who's on them* Judging by the names I have and the shirts your wearing..  
  
Farfie: *looks down at shirt* Ah! I'm wearing a shirt!  
  
Kirk Fogg: The Red Jaguars...are comprised of..  
  
Hell: ME!!!!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Hell, and Neu...  
  
Neu: Cool! We're on the same team!  
  
Hell: Women rock!  
  
Neu: We'll kick all your butts! *kicks repeatively in the air*  
  
Hell: *pulls out her scissors* Anyone who gets in my way will pay!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Strange people..  
  
Ken: Who else?  
  
Farfie: I WANT TO BE WITH OLMEC!!  
  
Omi: You can't!  
  
Nagi: Its impossible, isn't it?  
  
Tot: Hahaha, a talking stone and Farfie, a perfect match!  
  
Kirk Fogg: The Blue Barracudas...  
  
Yohji: That would be me..  
  
Aya: And me..  
  
Yohji: *looks at Aya* 0_0  
  
Aya: Shi-ne Yohji!  
  
Yohji: Why do I...  
  
Aya: Have to be put with this..  
  
Yohji: Freak with a short temper who..  
  
Aya: Is an arogant bastard that..  
  
Yohji: Has no respect for anyone and..  
  
Aya: Is a womanizer that no one..  
  
Yohji: Likes cause he's a no good..  
  
Aya: Bum!  
  
Farfie: Hurt god?  
  
Tot: You need help.  
  
Omi: Haha Yohji..  
  
Nagi: And Aya..  
  
Crawford: They belong with one another..  
  
Schuldig: Always and forever, the match made in..  
  
Schoen: Hell!  
  
Hell: Well atleast I didn't get either of them.  
  
Neu: Thank goodness I'm not a man..  
  
Tot: Ah-men..  
  
Ken: What about the other four teams?  
  
Kirk Fogg: I need a new job...  
  
Everyone but Kirk Fogg: $_$  
  
Kirk Fogg: Anyway... The next team is the Green Monkeys!  
  
Ken: I think that me?  
  
Kirk Fogg: Ken and...  
  
Ken: *crosses fingers* Please not Schuldig, for the love of god..  
  
Farfie: NO, FOR THE HATE OF GOD!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Farfello..  
  
Ken: O_O  
  
Yohji: Hahaha...  
  
Tot: This is getting good.  
  
Crawford: HA!  
  
Schuldig: Awwww...No Ken..  
  
Ken: Well it could be worst..  
  
Farfie: *climbing Olmec* We shall win and hurt god!  
  
Ken: Oh, why me?  
  
Hell: This sounds like an easy competition...  
  
Aya: Shi-ne! Wanna trade partners?  
  
Neu: Not a chance!  
  
Yohji: But babe, I turn blue for you!  
  
Hell: *knocks out Yohji with scissors* Ya!  
  
Yohji: X_X  
  
Neu: ^_^ I like my team..  
  
Hell: One for Schreient, zero for Weiss!  
  
Kirk Fogg: I've got to find a new job..  
  
Tot: Who's next?  
  
Omi: The suspense is killing me!  
  
Nagi: Me too!  
  
Crawford: They never shut-up do they?  
  
Ken: Not a chance..  
  
Farfie: *falls off Olmec* AAAAHHH!!! X_X  
  
Ken: *hand to head* Why me??? *_*  
  
Kirk Fogg: The next team is..  
  
Schoen: Why is my shirt Orange?  
  
Tot: *kicking Farfie* Hahaha, he fell..  
  
Hell: *filing her nails* Ah, this should be easy..  
  
Crawford: If we're lucky Schuldig will get one of the ladies or Nagi and Omi.  
  
Nagi: *says to Crawford* Hopefully its you!  
  
Omi: You are so smart.  
  
Nagi: Thank you.  
  
Omi: Your welcome.  
  
Nagi: ^_^  
  
Omi: ^_^  
  
Kirk Fogg: ..Is the Orange Iguanas...  
  
Tot: *repeatively kicking Farfie* Ha ha..  
  
Schoen: Is that what's on my shirt?!  
  
Kirk Fogg: ..Tot and Schoen, your the Orange Iguanas!  
  
Tot: *still kicking Farfie* This is fun!  
  
Schoen: Get over here! *uses whip to pull Tot back over to here*  
  
Tot: But I was having fun.  
  
Schoen: Well tough luck, we're partners and we're going to have to act as a team!  
  
Tot: I'm hungry.  
  
Schoen: So am I.  
  
Tot: Let's go eat something.  
  
Schoen: Sounds like a deal.  
  
Tot: Take-out?  
  
Schoen: Sounds good.  
  
*Both of them walk off*  
  
Kirk Fogg: Wait, we haven't even started the show yet..  
  
Aya: They're gone.  
  
Yohji: *wakes up* Wait, come back!  
  
Aya: Why do you care?  
  
Yohji: *runs after them* Let me come with babes!  
  
Tot: *pulls out umbrella, and swings it at Yohji* Don't call me babe!  
  
Yohji: *ducks* Ha, you missed!  
  
Schoen: *hits Yohji with her whip* Ha!  
  
Yohji: X_X  
  
**Tot and Shoen walk off stage**  
  
Aya: Shi-ne! I'm down a partner!  
  
Ken: My partner is still out-cold!  
  
Schuldig: I'll be your partner!  
  
Ken: No... *runs over to Farfie* Wake up!  
  
Farfie: X_X  
  
Crawford: This becoming a mess...  
  
Omi: Wait, we still have two teams left..  
  
Nagi: Yep, Omi, Brad Baby, Schuldig, and me..  
  
Crawford: Don't call me Brad Baby!  
  
Schuldig: Maybe we'll be together Crawford!  
  
Crawford: Not unless I can help it.  
  
Hell and Neu: *sitting down and chatting about guys* And there was this one time..  
  
Farfie: X_X  
  
Yohji: X_X  
  
Ken: *kicking Farfie* WAKE UP!!  
  
Aya: Shi-ne!  
  
Kirk Fogg: *pulls out a flask of liqour, and drinks some* I don't get paid enough for this job..  
  
Omi: What are the last two teams?  
  
Kirk Fogg: The Purple Parrots are Omi and Nagi.  
  
Nagi: Yay!  
  
Omi: YAY!  
  
Nagi: ^_^  
  
Omi: ^_^  
  
Schuldig: That means its you and me, Brad Baby!  
  
Kirk Fogg: You guys are the Silver Snakes!  
  
Farfie: *gets up* What happened?  
  
Ken: Never mind that, we're on the same team.  
  
Farfie: Does winning hurt god?  
  
Ken: Sure, whatever you want, winning hurts god.  
  
Farfie: Yay! Winning hurts God!  
  
Yohji: X_X  
  
Farfie: What happened to him?  
  
Hell and Neu: *turn towards Farfie while putting on make-up* Woman problems!  
  
Schuldig: So Brad Baby, we going to win?  
  
Crawford: DON'T CALL ME THAT!  
  
Ken: Looks like someone has a stick up their butt!  
  
Schuldig: Haha, he's got PMS!  
  
Omi: We're going to win!  
  
Nagi: Lets do what football players do!  
  
Omi: What do they do?  
  
Nagi: They head-butt for good luck!  
  
Omi: Yay! *runs at Nagi head first*  
  
Nagi: *runs at Omi head first* We'll kick everyone's butts!  
  
**Omi and Nagi bump heads and knock each other out**  
  
Omi: X_X  
  
Nagi: X_X  
  
Kirk Fogg: I need a break. *sits down and drinks the rest of the booze in his flask*  
  
Hell: Men..  
  
Neu: Are such pigs...  
  
Yohji: *stands up and shakes head* Come on ladies, i'll keep you up all night long..  
  
Neu: WHAT?!  
  
Hell: *hits Yohji with her scissors* Ya!  
  
Neu: HA!  
  
Yohji: Ugh...X_X *falls into Aya's hands*  
  
Aya: O_O  
  
Crawford: Isn't that sweet, a prince catching his princess. ^_^  
  
Hell: He really fell for him!  
  
Neu: How cute! _  
  
Schuldig: They belong in a fairy tale.  
  
Aya: Ah! *drops Yohji*  
  
Crawford: Ha, laying him down..  
  
Aya: Shi-ne Brad! *Pulls out Katana*  
  
Ken: Its not that bad.  
  
Crawford: Who do you think is the woman in that relationship?  
  
Aya: AH!!! *chases after Crawford with katana around the set*  
  
Crawford: AH!! *running from Aya*  
  
Ken: Well looks like i'm the only one left..  
  
Schuldig: Don't forget me, hotstuff! *winks at Ken*  
  
Ken: Uh.. There's got to be someone...  
  
Schuldig: No one can save you from me, sweet lips.. ^_^  
  
Ken: Ah well..Omi?  
  
Omi: X_X  
  
Ken: Nagi?  
  
Nagi: X_X  
  
Schuldig: Your mine!  
  
Ken: *slowly backing away from Schuldig* Yohji?  
  
Yohji: X_X  
  
Ken: Hell?... Neu?..  
  
Hell and Neu: Your on your own! *walk off stage to get ready*  
  
Ken: Aya? Crawford?  
  
Aya: SHI-NE!! COME BACK HERE!!  
  
Crawford: *still running from Aya and his katana* AH!!!!  
  
Ken: Tot and Schoen?  
  
**Tot and Schoen are eating fast-food on a table in the background**  
  
Tot: Mfhgjosdjg...  
  
Schoen: Mfhdkjg...  
  
Ken: Kirk?  
  
Kirk Fogg: *is passed out on the table with booze dripping from his lips* mphm..new job...chickens...olmec...papers...mother..move out...  
  
Ken: FARFIE??!!  
  
Schuldig: Your all mine! ^_^  
  
Farfie: *climbing Olmec and jumps off* Yaayayayaayy.. HURT GOD!!  
  
Ken: Please help me!  
  
Farfie: *misses the moat and hits his head against the grounf* Yay!... X_X  
  
Schuldig: ^_^  
  
Ken: Oh no... #_#  
  
Schuldig: *winks at Ken* Come here sweet thang!! ^_-  
  
Ken: @_@ AAAAHHHH!!! *runs around the set*  
  
Schuldig: You can't run forever baby! *chases after Ken*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Screen Fades Out~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	2. Legends of the Hidden Temple: Chp.2 Open...

Chapter 2 Opening **I DO NOT OWN WEISS KREUZ OR ANY OF THE NICK CHARACTERS**  
  
-picture goes through bushes (8 sec.)- -ancient music plays in the back ground (Safari/wild music)- -Leads way to Olmec in center of 2 giant podiums on bother sides of him. Smoke is coming from both of them-  
  
Olmec: Legends of the Hidden Temple (Olmec's eyes light up whenever he speaks, and his mouth drops a little two. Olmec speaks in a deep voice)  
  
-"Legends of the Hidden Temple" words run across the center of the screen, underneath is Olmec's face (icon). -Temple is viewed in the background- -fades to Olemc on left and plants around the screen. Audience in upper right. Steps to the left of Olmec leading down-  
  
Olmec: With your guide Kirk Fogg! And here he is now! (Kirk fogg walks down the steps with mic in hand) (Kirk Fogg wearing Blue shirt, gray shorts, and brown boots)  
  
Kirk Fogg: (turns toward audience) Thank you, thank you very much. (Turns toward cameras) Thank you. (turns toward Olmec) And thank you Olmec. Welcome to the Hidden Temple. The rooms are full of lost treasures that are protected by mysterious myan temple gaurds (flashes the rooms in the background). Olmec knows the legends behind each of the treasures in his temple. (Turns towards Olmec)Which one are we going to hear today? Olmec: The legend of the helmet of Ghangis Khan.  
  
Kirk Fogg: (The moat is shown length-wise {------}. Each team member has a yellow helmet on their head, and mouth-guards in their mouth. Each team member also has on light brown shorts, and a picture of their animal on their shirt with their color as the background of the t-shirt. Also, each player has own blue, green or pink shoes which appears to be under-water type shoes, small and have no laces. Each player also has on grip-gloves) (The teams are all one the right side the moat with the top ropes in place, the first member on the ledge ready to cross the moat with their feet on the water, with rope in their hand, and the other member standing behind them) Well one of these six teams will get the chance to retrieve the helmet of Ghangis Khan. (When each team's name is called, they clap their hands, as does the audience)  
  
Kirk Fogg: Will it be the Red Jaguars...  
  
Hell and Neu: WOMEN RULE!!!!  
  
Guys: O_O  
  
Kirk Fogg: The Blue Barracudas....  
  
Aya: Shi-ne! *raises katana*  
  
Yohji: Hey there, Ladies..  
  
Kirk Fogg: The Green Monkeys...  
  
Ken: Go team?!  
  
Farfie: YAY! GREEN MONKEYS HURT GOD!  
  
Kirk Fogg: The Orange Iguanas...  
  
Tot: Hahahaha, he called us Iguanas.  
  
Schoen: I'm not an IGUANA!  
  
Kirk Fogg: The Purple Parrots...  
  
Nagi and Omi: YAY!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Or the Silver Snakes?  
  
Crawford: Don't screw this up!  
  
Schuldig: You better not either!  
  
  
  
(The moat is shown length wise {------} and on the front side{closest to the camera} of the moat is each gong which is a medium sized podeum, that's the same color as the team name. Each of the gongs are linked to the next by a chain. There also are poles that are connected to poles on the other side of the moat by a rope on the top. Each team has a pole on the farther side of the moat which connects to the pole of the other side of the moat. The moat is water. In the back, there is the audience and a semi-old looking temple like structure for an entrance to some-thing. There is one or two people on each side of the moat in case of emergencies)  
  
Kirk Fogg: They'll have to pass some pretty tough physical and mental test. In the end only one team will earn access to Olmec's temple, but first they must cross the moat. And here's how they'll do it today: one player from each team is holding a rope, when I say go, they will take the rope and cross the moat as quickly as possible. Once they are across they will take the rope and wrap the rope once around the base of the pole. Then sit down, and pull it tight, bracing themselves with their feet. Then the other member must walk across the moat by the lower rope. When the last member reaches the other side, then its his job to race over and hit their gong. *hits gong and it lights up* The first four teams to hit their gongs will go onto the next round.  
  
Hell: Seems simple enough  
  
Aya: Shi-ne! Don't screw this up Yohji!  
  
Yohji: I won't!  
  
Ken: Why do I have Farfello?  
  
Tot: Yay! Wait.. We have to cross that?  
  
Schoen: I am no crossing that!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Ladies, you have to in order to go on.  
  
Tot: This is stupid, i'm not getting wet.  
  
Schoen: Neither am I!  
  
Yohji: I'll get wet, if you want me to ladies. *smiles big at Schoen and Tot*  
  
Tot: Your messed up!  
  
Nagi: We're going to win!  
  
Omi: YAY! Nagi-kins and I will win!  
  
Farfello: Winning hurts GOD!  
  
Schuldig: Why do I get Crawford?  
  
Crawford: Shut-up! It could be worst.  
  
Ken: Yea, you could have Farfie.  
  
Farfie: Winning Hurts God! *dancing around with his knives*  
  
Aya: Wanna trade?  
  
Kirk Fogg: You can't trade!  
  
Nagi: When's this show going to start?  
  
Crawford: I'm going to win this thing at all costs!  
  
Schuldig: Not as long am i'm your partner.  
  
Crawford: If you screw this up.. *pulls out gun*, I'll shoot you!  
  
Olmec: Um.. let's start?  
  
Hell: I think is looks dangerous..  
  
Neu: Why do we have to use rope?  
  
Hell: This is such a male game!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Ladies, calm down. Its not hard, even little kids can do it!  
  
Aya: Well I guess we should do our best.  
  
Crawford: Least I'm not with Omi or Nagi.  
  
Nagi: What do you mean by that?  
  
Omi: You can't have Nagi, he's mine!!  
  
Nagi: You and me.. ^_^  
  
Omi: Will win! ^_^  
  
Yohji: Awww...  
  
Tot: Hahahaha...Thats sick!  
  
Schoen: I don't want to participate.  
  
Kirk Fogg: You can't just leave!  
  
Hell: I had better not break a nail.  
  
Aya: Stupid games.. stupid show..  
  
Yohji: I'll swim the deep for you! *winks at Schoen*  
  
Crawford: Stupid Nagi!  
  
Nagi: Don't call me stupid!  
  
Crawford: *is being raised and repeatively hit into Olmec* Nagi... you..  
  
Farfie: HURT GOD BY WORSHIPING OLMEC BECAUSE HE HURTS GOD, AND THATS GOOD ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TIME FOR US TO...  
  
Ken: Why do I have to Farfello as a partner?  
  
Tot: Cause your special!  
  
Schoen: Cause Yohji's an a**.  
  
Kirk Fogg: SHUT-UP!!!!  
  
Weiss, Schwarz, and Schreient: @_@  
  
Kirk Fogg: Are we ready teams? *turns and points toward Olmec* Are you ready Olmec?  
  
Olmec: This rock is ready...  
  
Farfie: HURT GOD BUT HAVING OTHER BELIEVE IN HIM CAUSE HE'S A FALSE GOD, AND THE RATS HATE FALSE GODS SO THEY GET MAD AND WHEN RATS GET MAD THEY HURT GOD..  
  
Crawford: *_*  
  
Ken: Don't do that again!  
  
Farfie: Sorry...  
  
Tot: I'm ready to..  
  
Farfie: Hurt god!  
  
Neu: SHUT-UP!  
  
Farfie: $_$  
  
Krik Fogg: On your mark....get set..... go!!!!!  
  
Farfie: What?  
  
Schuldig: We're doing what now?  
  
Crawford: GO! GO! GO!!  
  
Omi: I'm scared.  
  
Nagi: Don't be!  
  
Omi: Here we go! *Starts swimming across the moat*  
  
Tot: I hate this.  
  
Schoen: Go first!  
  
Tot: No you!  
  
Schoen: I'm not getting wet!  
  
Tot: Well, don't look at me!  
  
Schoen: Wanna leave?  
  
Tot: Yea, I agree.  
  
Schoen: Where?  
  
Tot: Anywhere.  
  
Schoen: How bout a trip?  
  
Tot: Sure, where?  
  
Schoen: Anywhere.  
  
Tot: Okay!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Ladie's you can't just get up and leave..  
  
Tot: *pulls out umbrella* Get out of my way!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Not a chance!  
  
Schoen: *pulls out whip* We're Leaving!  
  
Tot: Yep!  
  
Kirk Fogg: But ladies....  
  
Tot and Schoen: *beat up Kirk Fogg* Ha! .. YA!... YA!!...  
  
Kirk Fogg: X_X  
  
Olmec: Hahaha!  
  
Tot and Schoen: *both walk off stage* Men..  
  
Hell: *has reached the other side of the moat, but is now drenched in water* Hm..  
  
Neu: Hahaha! You look like a wet rat!  
  
Hell: AAAaahhhhh! *faces starts turning red*  
  
Neu: You broke a nail!!!  
  
Hell: Come here!  
  
Neu: Not a chance!  
  
Hell: *pulls the rope that Neu is standing on* Ha...ya!  
  
Neu: Wooah! *falls into the water*  
  
Hell: Now who looks like a drowned rat..  
  
Yohji: Ha! You broke your nail!  
  
Hell: Bite me!  
  
Yohji: Ah, fiesty! You got all wet for me! ^_^  
  
Hell: UGH! *stomps off stage*  
  
Neu: *walks to backstage, drenched and crying*  
  
Aya: *has reached the other side* Come on!  
  
Yohji: I can't, it might mess up my looks!  
  
Aya: Shi-ne Yohji!  
  
Nagi: *swims slowly through the water* Weeeee... Weeeeee...  
  
Omi: Go Nagi!  
  
Ken: *swims quickly to the other side, and sits down to brace the rope* Hurry Farfello!  
  
Farfie: Um..  
  
Ken: What now?  
  
Farfie: What are doing again?  
  
Ken: *hand to head* Why me?....  
  
Crawford: Hurry up you sack of crap!  
  
Schuldig: Help me, i'm drowning! *is throwing his arms constantly in air while in the water*  
  
Crawford: You can't drown in 3 1/2 feet deep water!  
  
Schuldig: *stands up* Oh! I knew that!  
  
Crawford: *jumps in the water and gets to where Schuldig is* Mmm..  
  
Schuldig: Hi Brad! *standing in the middle of the moat, with rope in his hand*  
  
Crawford: Why you stupid.. *begins to choke Schuldig*  
  
Schuldig: Ugh..mmmfmmfmfff...!  
  
Ken: Hurry Farfie!  
  
Farfie: Wait, tell me one more time!  
  
Ken: Just walk on the rope to the other side!  
  
Farfie: Seems simple enough.. *steps on the bottom rope for support and holds onto the top rope*  
  
Crawford: *with one hand he shoots at Farfello's top-rope* The hell i'm going to let you win!  
  
Farfie: WWWWWOOOOOOO!!!!!!! *goes flying to the other side* Look out!  
  
Ken: HUH?!  
  
Farfie: *lets go of the rope, flys into Ken, and hits the gong* **gong lights up green**  
  
Ken: Get off me!  
  
Farfie: YAY!  
  
Ken: *trying to lift Farfello off him* Get off me! We won!  
  
Farfie: Winning hurts god!  
  
Ken: Gosh.. your heavy!  
  
Crawford: *picks up Schuldig and throws him over the other side* There!  
  
Schuldig: Ugh! *Stands up* Missed me!  
  
Crawford: AAAAHHH!!! *Runs to the other side, through the moat, and begins choking Schuldig*  
  
Schuldig: Mgfhgfhfff...  
  
Crawford: TAKE THIS!! *continues choking him*  
  
Schuldig: Help me...mfhgd.. *hands are waving all over, he hits the gong*  
  
**gong lights up silver**  
  
Crawford: We did it!  
  
Aya: Shi-ne YOHJI!! HURRY UP!  
  
Yohji: *stick foot in water* Its cold..  
  
Aya: *pulls out katana* I'll show you cold..  
  
Schuldig: *gets dropped by Crawford, and finally stands up* Cool! We go on!  
  
Crawford: YES!  
  
Schuldig: Damn Woman!  
  
Crawford: I'm NOT A WOMAN!!! *picks Schuldig up and throws him at Ken*  
  
Ken: *finally rolls Farfello off him* Finally!  
  
Farfie: Hum... *dusts himself off* We hurt god!  
  
Ken: Phew... Sigh.. *Schuldig goes lands on Ken* ()_()  
  
Schuldig: Ah! Miss me?  
  
Ken: AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! Get him off!  
  
Omi and Nagi: *reach the other side and try to press their gong, but it doesn't light up* What the?  
  
Yohji: Ha! Nagi you Bum!  
  
Aya: Shut-up and cross the stupid moat!  
  
Yohji: Make me!!  
  
Nagi: I WILL!!! *uses powers to throw Yohji from one side to the other*  
  
Yohji: Oh no! *lands on the gong* %_%  
  
**gong lights up blue**  
  
Aya: Shi-ne! *puts away katana* stupid show..stupid game.. stupid Yohji...  
  
Omi: We still have to light our gong up!  
  
Nagi: Um...  
  
Omi: Lets hit our heads on it!  
  
Nagi: My head is tough..  
  
Omi: My head is hard too!  
  
Nagi: ^_^ YAY!  
  
Omi: On three...  
  
Nagi: One..  
  
Omi: What comes after one?  
  
Nagi: Um..  
  
Schuldig: TWO!!!  
  
Ken: Get off me!!!  
  
Omi: Three!  
  
Omi and Nagi: OUM! *both knock heads on their gong* **gong lights up purple**  
  
Omi and Nagi: X_X  
  
Crawford: Go us!  
  
Schuldig: Wanna spend your time with me?  
  
Ken: *still trying to push off Schuldig* Get off!!!  
  
Farfello: WINNING HURTS GOD! YAY!!!  
  
Aya: Shi-ne!  
  
Spokes-person's voice: The 2 teams that failed to qualify win this..  
  
--Cheese is shown on the screen-- Spokes-person: A year's supply of cheese!  
  
Ken: WAIT!! I wana lose! Let me have cheese!  
  
Farfie: RATS LOVE CHEESE SO WE SHOULD BURN THE CHEESE CAUSE HURTING RATS HURTS GOD!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Screen fades black~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	3. Legends of the Hidden Temple: Chp.3 Step...

Chapter 3 Steps of Knowledge **I DO NOT OWN WEISS KREUZ OR ANY OF THE NICK CHARACTERS**  
  
**Screen fades to Kirk Fogg by a large group of steps, and Olmec is to the left of him**  
  
Kirk Fogg: As we continue our quest. Its now time for Olmec to tell us more about the legend of Ghangis Khan's helmet. But pay attention because your knowledge of the legend will bring you one step closer to the temple.  
  
Farfie: Who's Ghangis Khan?  
  
Ken: He's a leader.  
  
Yohji: He's a ruthless leader who conquered many places.  
  
Farfie: Does he god?  
  
Omi: Yes, he hurts god.  
  
Farfie: YAY! KHAN HURTS GOD!  
  
Olmec: Long ago, there lived a young boy who drove a giant tent wagon, called a Urk, for the mongolian army. His name was Jamuka. (Picture of a young man with pointy ears is shown, after the camera looks into the moat)  
  
Aya: Shi-ne Jamuka!  
  
Schuldig: He's not real.  
  
Kirk Fogg: Why, yes he is.  
  
Nagi: Where is he?  
  
Omi: He sound cool.  
  
Nagi: I wanna be Jamuka!  
  
Omi: You can't be Jamuka!  
  
Crawford: Will you all shut-up and let him finish!  
  
Aya: Stick up your butt?  
  
Schuldig: Nope, just PMS.  
  
Crawford: SHUT-UP!!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Ahem, let Olmec finish..  
  
Olmec: Together Jamuka and the other members of his mongolian tribe tribe followed Ghangis Khan, the ruler of all Mongols. They swept down across the plains, and into china, conquering all of most of Asia and part of Europe.  
  
Farfie: Where's Europe?  
  
Ken: Some place far, now quiet!  
  
Crawford: Uuhh.. Maybe, you have PMS!  
  
Ken: SHUT-UP!  
  
Yohji: Must be PMS day or something..  
  
Kirk Fogg: *pulls out a thermos of booze, and pours himself a cup* What a day..  
  
Olmec: "Urk driver," someone shouted, but Jamuka did not hear. "Urk driver," the voice said again. "What is your name?"  
  
Aya: I have a question!  
  
Olmec: What is it?  
  
Aya: Why does..  
  
Farfie: THOSE STUPID RATS HELP GOD, BECAUSE THEY LIKE TO CHEER HIM UP, EXCEPT IF YOU DON'T FEED THEM. AND WHEN YOU DON'T FEED THEM THEY LEAVE PRESENT FOR THE PEOPLE, AND WHEN GOD SITS DOWN TO PUT HIS LEGS IN HIS SHOES, HE'LL FIND A PRESENT OF POO, AND THEN THAT WILL HURT GOD!  
  
Schuldig: *_*  
  
Crawford: Don't ever do that again!  
  
Yohji: What Aya meant was, why does..  
  
Schuldig: Crawford have PMS?  
  
Omi: Hehehe..  
  
Nagi: HAHAHA!  
  
Olmec: WHAT IS THE DAMN QUESTION?!?!?!?!?  
  
Aya: Why would someone be named Jamuka?  
  
Yohji: Makes you think the parents wanted their kid to get their butt kicked in school.  
  
Omi: You said butt! *turns bright red*  
  
Crawford: Why won't you two shut-up!!!???  
  
Schuldig: Because you have..  
  
Crawford: *pulls out gun* Because I have what????  
  
Schuldig: Such nice..um..hair..  
  
Yohji: Smooth..  
  
Krik Fogg: Want a drink? *hands a drink to Olmec who drinks it*  
  
Olmec: OH.. BURP!!! Yea....  
  
Everyone but Kirk and Olmec: ~_~  
  
Farfie: Burping hurts GOD!!!  
  
Ken: *hand to head* Why me??  
  
Kirk Fogg: Ah.. now where were we?  
  
Olmec: I was telling the tale of..  
  
Ken: chicken!  
  
Olmec: ()_()  
  
Farfie: FRYING CHICKEN HURTS GOD!!!  
  
Kirk Fogg: @_@  
  
Ken: YAY!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Will someone shut those two up!  
  
Crawford: With pleasure!  
  
Yohji: Brad Baby!  
  
Crawford: *turns toward Yohji, fires gun and it misses Farfie and Ken* DANG-IT!  
  
Yohji: Guess he had cramps!  
  
Aya: Hahahaha....  
  
Omi: Hehe.. he said..  
  
Nagi: Brad Baby...  
  
Crawford: I am this close to killing you all!  
  
Farfie: Must be worst then we thought! ^_^  
  
Crawford: What must be?  
  
Farfie: YOUR PMS THAT HURTS GOD!! YAY!!  
  
Crawford: UGH!  
  
Olmec: SHUT-UP ALL OF YOU!!!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Guess he's got PMS, hahaha..  
  
Omi: Hehehe..  
  
Nagi: Hahaha!  
  
Olmec: *spits out fire* AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Everyone but Olmec: $_$  
  
Olmec: Now then..  
  
Schuldig: Back to the tale of..  
  
Ken: CHICKEN!!  
  
Farfie: THAT HURTS GOD WHEN YOU FRY IT AND SERVE IT TO THE RATS WHO LIKE IT, BUT THEN GET SICK, WHICH HURTS GOD, BUT THEN THEY LEAVE PRESENTS AND THEN..  
  
Olmec: *blows fire from mouth at Farfie* Now then..  
  
Farfie: WOW!  
  
Olmec: Jamuka turned and saw the great Ghangis Khan (picture of Ghangis Khan appears in moat). "Jamuka sire, and I beg your forgiveness." The Great Khan laughed and tossed his leather helmet to Jamuka. "This is yours," the Khan said. "Be more attentive and one day you'll grow into it." (Camera flashes to Olmec) Without a word he turned and rode off. (Leather helmet appears in illusion in lake) Some say Jamuka went on to be a great general. And Khan's helmet came to rest in this temple. (Camera heads back to Olmec and everyone) Your quest is to retrieve Khan's helmet and return it back here.  
  
Farfie: I don't get it!  
  
Ken: What do you mean you don't get it?  
  
Farfie: Exactly like I said, I don't get it.  
  
Ken: Fine, if its come to this, well..  
  
Farfie: Well..  
  
Crawford: What an idiot!  
  
Schuldig: I'd rather have Ken...  
  
Aya: As a partner?  
  
Yohji: I think he means team member..  
  
Schuldig: Right.. team member...  
  
Farfie: So..  
  
Ken: Its a simple history story..  
  
Farfie: But I don't get it!!  
  
Omi: Its easy..  
  
Nagi: Its a story about hope..  
  
Omi: Dignity..  
  
Nagi: Pride..  
  
Yohji: Don't you two ever shut-up?  
  
Crawford: Guess some else has a stick up their butt!  
  
Aya: Yea you, know, lets start this game..  
  
Ken: Can't we change partners?  
  
Kirk Fogg: Nope!  
  
Olmec: Can we get going, we're already past half of our time we're supposed to be on the air..  
  
Crawford: Don't worry, they cancelled most of the line-up, so there's nothing much after this..  
  
Schuldig: And because its us, we're on all night long!  
  
Ken: God help us all..  
  
Farfie: BUT HE CAN'T SINCE HE WOKE UP AND FOUND A PIECE OF POO FROM THE RATS IN HIS SHOES AND THEN HE GETS MAD, AND IT HURTS GOD, SO THEN THE RATS GET SICK FROM THE FRYED CHICKEN AND THATS WHY..  
  
Schuldig: Crawford has PMS!  
  
Yohji: And Aya is loser.  
  
Aya: Shi-ne YOHJI!  
  
Yohji: You wouldn't hurt your partner would you?  
  
Aya: Shi-ne!  
  
Kirk Fogg: *pours out a cup of booze and passes it to Aya* Here..  
  
Aya: Stupid game.. *drinks the cup of alcohol* stupid. Yohji..  
  
Kirk Fogg: Thank you Olmec. So, where might we find the helmet of Ghangis Khan?  
  
Farfie: The Helmet of WHAT??  
  
Ken: Didn't you listen to anything that he had said?!  
  
Farfie: Um.. no?  
  
Ken: WHY ME?  
  
Schuldig: Because I got stuck with Crapford.  
  
Crawford: DON'T CALL ME CRAPFORD!!!!  
  
Yohji: What ever you say Brad-Baby!  
  
Crawford: Damn you all!  
  
Olmec: The helmet of Ghangis Khan is located in The Mine Shaft.  
  
**Camera flashes to Mine Shaft and a light shows where the object lays**  
  
Farfie: The what?  
  
Schuldig: Will someone shut him up!  
  
Omi: Haha! They have a Mine Shaft!  
  
Nagi: Sounds like fun!  
  
Omi: We can ride it up!  
  
Nagi: And down!  
  
Omi: YAY! I love parties!  
  
Nagi: This will be a fun party!  
  
Kirk Fogg; *hand to head* I need to find a new job..  
  
Olmec: You and me both!  
  
Kirk Fogg: (turns to the players) Teams you are standing on the "Steps of Knowledge". ***The Steps are: - - - - {4} - - - - {4} ---- {4} - - {2} ***  
  
Farfie: HOLLY MOLLY! THESE MUST HURT GOD!  
  
Ken: @_@  
  
Crawford: I don't have a stick up my butt!  
  
Aya: Sure..  
  
Crawford: And I don't have PMS!  
  
Yohji: Whatever you say..  
  
Schuldig: Crapford!  
  
Crawford: I am so close to hurting you..  
  
Schuldig: You wouldn't hurt your team mate, would you Crapford?  
  
Crawford: *turns red and vein begins to pulse around his forehead* =_=  
  
Omi: That can't be good...  
  
Nagi: For his PMS...  
  
Omi: Hm.. do you think we?  
  
Nagi: Nah, never..  
  
Kirk Fogg: In a minute Olmec will ask you a question and if you think you know the answer step down on your marker in front of you.  
  
***marker is in the center of each step, but the last two; below the last two steps the markings light up***  
  
Nagi: *hits step but it doesn't light up* What the..  
  
Omi: *hits marker, but still doesn't light up* Hell...  
  
Farfie: *steps on marker* STEPS LIGHTING UP HURT GOD!!!  
  
Ken: *_*  
  
Kirk Fogg: Green Monkeys..uh.. you rang in first, and if you answer correctly, you'd move down to the next level.  
  
Ken: So we guess?  
  
Kirk Fogg: When he asks you the question..  
  
Farfie: *hits marker* IS THE ANSWER HURT GOD?  
  
Schuldig: Not yet you twit!  
  
Crawford: Stupid Farfello..  
  
Omi: Haha, stupid..  
  
Yohji: Go Brad Baby!  
  
Aya: Shi-ne Crapford!  
  
Nagi: Hahah..  
  
Omi: I think our step is broken!  
  
Nagi: Its not lightening up *steps on marker but it doesn't light up*  
  
Omi: This Sux!  
  
Schuldig: Haha..  
  
Kirk Fogg: If your wrong or your time ran out to answer the question, then the other teams would have a chance to answer. The first two teams to reach the bottom steps will be one step closer to reaching the temple.  
  
Ken: So even if we win this game we don't go on?  
  
Kirk Fogg: You go on to the next round..  
  
Aya: Stupid rounds..  
  
Yohji: Awww.. I think Aya has a..  
  
Farfie: STICK THAT CRAPFORD USED UP HIS BUTT AND IT HURTS GOD! YAY!!  
  
Crawford: '_'  
  
Kirk Fogg: Lets begin.. for the sake of us all.. start...  
  
Olmec: What was the tent that Jamuka drove? Is it...  
  
Schuldig: A dog!  
  
Crawford: YOU DOLT!  
  
Aya: Shi-ne Crapford! Hahaha..  
  
Yohji: You have to press the marker..  
  
Farfie: *jumps on the marker* YAY!  
  
Ken: Now we have to answer you stupid..  
  
Farfie: URK..  
  
Ken: I don't think you can say that T.V.!  
  
Omi: He said a bad word..  
  
Nagi: Potty mouth!!  
  
Kirk Fogg: That is correct!  
  
Everyone bu Farfello: O_O  
  
Schuldig: He got one right..  
  
Omi: *jumps on marker* Must light up!  
  
Nagi: *continues to jump on their marker* UGH!  
  
Crawford: This could mean the world is at an end..  
  
Farfie: IS WHAT ALSO HURTS BECAUSE IT HELPS THE RATS NOT GET SICK AND IF THE RATS AREN'T SICK THEN THEY CAN'T LEAVE PRESENTS TO GOD IN GOD'S SHOES AND..  
  
Ken: The idiot...  
  
Aya: Shi-ne Farfie and his stupid answers!  
  
Farfie: YAY! WINNING HURTS GOD!  
  
Omi and Nagi: *both are jumping and pounding away at their marker* DUMB Piece of of..  
  
Yohji: Crapford!  
  
Crawford: Will you quit calling me that!  
  
Schuldig: You know you like it!  
  
Farfie and Ken: *move down to the next step* YAY!  
  
Omi: We can still win if we..  
  
Nagi: Get this piece of crap..  
  
Farfie: FORD!  
  
Crawford: Will you quit it!!  
  
Schuldig: Will you all shut-up he's giving us the next question...  
  
Kirk Fogg: *pours himself another drink* They had to give me this show..  
  
Olmec: What was the tribe? A. Ridgets.. B. Manducs.. or C.  
  
Aya: *steps on step* CRAPFORD!  
  
Yohji: Thats not the answer you idiot!  
  
Aya: Shi-ne!!!  
  
Farfie: *trips and lands on his marker* Ugh..  
  
Ken: Not again.. you can't just keep pressing the marker..  
  
Omi: Tick, tock..  
  
Nagi: We are going to get this stupid marker to work!  
  
Schuldig: Forever and ever..  
  
Crawford: Finally we'll easily win this game..  
  
Olmec: Times..  
  
Farfie: MONGOLIAN..  
  
Ken: HUH?  
  
Aya: Shi-ne Farfello!  
  
Olmec: Oh my..  
  
Kirk Fogg: Thats correct! You may move down!  
  
Everyone but Farfello: O__O  
  
Farfie: TRIBE HURTS GOD BUT ATTACKING AND TAKING OVER BECAUSE THE RATS QUIT...  
  
Nagi: *uses powers to take Farfello and bash him repeatively against their marker and then returns him to the next to last step with Ken* Stupid MARKER!!  
  
Omi: Must work... eventually...  
  
Farfie: x_x ... ugh..  
  
Ken: You can't do that!  
  
Crawford: No, but I can..  
  
Olmec: What part of land did Ghangis Khan not conquer... A. Fantasy Land.. B. Europe.. or C. Asia..  
  
Kirk Fogg: *is staggering after drinking the entire thermo-stat* Uhffffdgmh..  
  
Schuldig: *hits marker* CRAPFORD LAND!  
  
Crawford: THATS NOT FUNNY!! *begins choking Schuldig*  
  
Schuldig: Ugh...helf.. meh...  
  
Farfie: ^_^... FANTASYLAND...  
  
Kirk Fogg: Thats.. corr....ect...  
  
Omi: Stupid step!!!  
  
Nagi: Son of...  
  
Aya: Shi-ne...  
  
Yohji: CRAPFORD!!  
  
Crawford: Ugh!!!  
  
Ken: WE GO ON!!  
  
Farfie: IS WHERE THE RATS LEFT THE POO IN THE SHOE FOR GOD, AND HE GOT ANGRY AND THEN THERE WAS A KING RAT AND HIS NAME WAS OLMEC AND HE GOT MAD, BUT THIS WAS GOOD, CAUSE IT HURTS GOD!!  
  
Ken: Thats amazing..  
  
Crawford: The idiot got it!  
  
Schuldig: Ughsdmm..  
  
Olmec: This could be a while.. ~~~~~~~An Hour goes by~~~~~~~ **Farfie has answered all the questions right and nobody else has answered right** Schuldig: *presses marker* CHEESE!! Crawford: You Dolt!! *Beings to choke him again* Olmec: Oh dear.. Farfie: JAMUKA!!!! Ken: Oh dear.. Farfie: THIS THE NAME THAT GOD FEARS CAUSE HE WAS WITH GHANGIS KHAN AND GHANGIS KHAN HURTS GOD, BY CONQUERING LAND. THEN THE RATS CAME BY AND DECIDED TO LEAVE PRESENTS FOR THE MONGOLS AND THEN HTEY GOT MAD AND BLEW UP THE WORLD AND THEY MISSED CAUSE IF THEY DID , GOD WOULD BE HAPPY CAUSE I WOULD BE GONE AND.. Schuldig: Ughdmm... Crawford: *pulls out gun* Why you little.. Schuldig: *ducks* HA! MISSED ME!! **Bullet his off Olmec, hits off Kirk Fogg who's passed out one of the top steps, and then hits Schuldig on the back on the head** Schuldig: Ugh... X_X Crawford: HA! Omi and Nagi: Maybe we butt heads and hit the marker! Omi: YAY! *Throws his head into the marker* Nagi: We're going to win! *Hits head against marker* Omi and Nagi: *marker lights up* X_X Farfie: THIS HURTS GOD!!! YAY! Ken: Why me... Schuldig: X_X Crawford: WE WIN! *drags Schuldig down to the bottom step and jumps for joy* Yohji: HAHA! CRAPFORD WON! AYA YOU SUCK! Aya: Shi-ne!! *Runs off stage chasing Yohji with his katana* Yohji: Help me! Olmec: *has a straw connected to his mouth and is drinking out of a keg of beer* Uhhh.. mgfhf.. New job.. Kirk... dress... mother.. move out.. Kirk.. never ...called back.. Ken and Farfie: *dancing the kunga with Ken having his hands on Farfello's shoulders* HURT GOD.. CHA-CHA-CHA.. HURT GOD.. CHA-CHA-CHA! -Screen fades to Black- 


	4. Legends of the Hidden Temple: Chp.4 Temp...

Chapter 4 Temple Games **I DO NOT OWN WEISS KREUZ OR ANY OF THE NICK CHARACTERS**  
  
-"Legends of the Hidden Temple" with Olmec's icon below appears on the screen. Camera flashes to Kirk Fogg and where the two kids are- **One team member is strapped to some hook in a bungee type suit (black gear attached to a cord. Wearing a purple/red helmet, light. There is velcro on the top). The other member is standing in same black gear except without a hook attached. There is 2 wooden, square baskets to the in front: right and left: of Kirk Fogg. The members stand to the side of him. 2 walls are shown in the background behind each team, with inserts that look like small petals that stick out for support and climbing the wall. At the top of the wall there is 2 opening on the top of each wall, large enough to fit 3 lite blocks in each opening. There is red marking on each wall, 2 straight lines across and one on the middle that is drawn out like a step. There is guy in between both walls to watch for safety**  
  
Kirk Fogg: Welcome back ... BURP!  
  
Everyone but Kirk: O_O  
  
Kirk Fogg: Um... To Legends. Now before it goes to the fastest and the strongest... Lets find out about our team members...  
  
Kirk Fogg: Well on the Green Monkeys we've got Ken Hidaka..  
  
Ken: YEP!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Also says here that you once betted on your own games..  
  
Ken: Um... I pass...  
  
Kirk Fogg: You can't pass..  
  
Farfie: DO ME!!!  
  
Schuldig: That can be taken so very wrong..  
  
Farfie: CRAPFORD!!  
  
Crawford: SHUT-UP!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Well we have.. Farfello..  
  
Farfie: YEA, THE SOUND OF MY NAME HURTS GOD!  
  
Kirk Fogg: No wonder I drink so much.. @_@ Anyhow.. This says here your duty is to hurt..  
  
Farfie: CAUSE WHEN THE RATS LEAVE PRESENTS IN HIS SHOES IT HURTS GOD, BUT WHEN ALL THE MONGOLS TAKE OVER AND ACIIDENTLY BLOW THE WORLD UP GOD SAYS THANKGOODNESS, BUT I PROVED HIM WRONG WHEN I SURVIVED, BUT HE GOT MAD AND THEN HE BLEW THE WORLD UP AND THEN...  
  
Kirk Fogg: Right.. Lets here it for the..  
  
Farfie: GOD HATERS!!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Right.. *one or two claps come from the audience* Next we have the..  
  
Schuldig: CRAPFORDS!!!  
  
Kirk Fogg: Sigh... We have Schuldig..  
  
Schuldig: CRAPFORD HAS A STICK UP HIS BUTT!!  
  
Crawford: *pulls out gun* Thats it, partner or no partner. *fires gun*  
  
**shot misses Schuldig and hits noth Aya and Yohji who were chasing each other in the background. Omi and Nagi are still knocked out on the step that is still lit up**  
  
Aya: X_X  
  
Yohji: X_X  
  
Kirk Fogg: Why don't you guys get ready for the next game.. *Schuldig and Ken walk off*  
  
Kirk Fogg: In the temple games, each team is competing to win pendants of life. The winning team will need those pendants to protect themselves when making their way through the temple. *holds up pendant*  
  
Farfie: PENDANTS HURT GOD!  
  
Crawford: Why me.. *_*  
  
Olmec: Ooouuhh..  
  
Kirk Fogg: There are three temple games and the first one is Great Wall of China. When Ghangis Khan conquered China he had to get through the Great Wall. At first we tried to tear it down, which is what our teams will be doing. When I say go, one player from each team is going to go to the top, grab a brick, stick it to their helmet, climb down and throw it in their basket. The they will repeat the process till all 6 bricks are in the basket or till the time runs out. The first team will all 6 bricks or the most in 60 seconds will win 1/2 a pendant of life.  
  
Crawford: This sould be easy for me..  
  
Farfie: BRICKS HURT GOD WHEN HE GETS HIT BY THEM AFTER THE RATS GET SICK FROM FRYED CHICKEN AND LEAVE HIM PRESENTS IN HIS SHOES AND THEN GHANGIS KHAN GETS MAD...  
  
Crawford: SHUT-UP!!  
  
Farfie: Okay, CRAPFORD!!  
  
Crawford: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!  
  
Kirk Fogg: 60 seconds on the clock  
  
**A small clock falls in the bottom right hand corner with Olmec's symbol on it and 60 seconds, it counts down the time**  
  
**Players are bracing themselves, and have their hands up the wall, one foot on the blue padding below the wall, and one foot on a notch**  
  
Kirk Fogg: On your mark... *steps to the side* .... get set.... go!!  
  
Kirk Fogg: 30 seconds left..  
  
Crawford: Its mine. *slowly goes up the wall and gets 3 bricks in the basket*  
  
Farfie: HURT GOD!! *Has spent the time bouncing up and down getting bricks by accident*  
  
Kirk Fogg: Thats not how you do it!  
  
Farfie: *everytime he jumps up he gets a brick and drops it in the basket* WWEEEEE..  
  
Kirk Fogg: Time's up!!!  
  
Farfie: Did I hurt god?  
  
Kirk Fogg: Um, lets see, the Green Monkeys have all 6 bricks!  
  
Farfie: *jumps up and down with bungee suit on* HURT GOD!!!  
  
Kirk Fogg: And the Silver Snakes..  
  
Neu: SUCK!!! *found a seat in the audience to watch the show in*  
  
Kirk Fogg: They also got 6 bricks. That means its a tie! Both teams win a 1/2 a pendant of life!  
  
Farfie: We won a what?  
  
Crawford: Damn! Don't Screw this up Schuldig!  
  
.....................................  
  
(The setting is 2 lanes that go up. The lanes are blue padding and they are soapy. At the top is 5 different soldiers figures, on a ledge. Each player is on their knees and has a hold of 2 of the side grips. They are now wearing sweat shirts, and are both tied to a string at the base of the blue slide. There is 2 baskets on the base of the slide and there are grips all the way up to the top. Players are wearing black shorts and white shoes 'sneakers')  
  
Kirk Fogg: The first thing Ghangis Khan did when he became a leader was build a powerful army out of the mongolian tribes. This time they will assemble the mongolian hoard. When I say go, the player will climb up the ramp, on his knees and grab one of the soldiers. Then they will slide back down and put it in their basket. Then he will do it again. The team with the most soldiers in his bucket by the end of 60 seconds will win 1/2 a pendant of life.  
  
**Clock with Olemc's symblos falls to the lower right hand corner of the screen**  
  
Kirk Fogg: On your mark, get set ....go!!!  
  
Ken: I can do this, I can do this...  
  
Schuldig: Come on Crapford!!!  
  
Neu: This show sux, change the channel!  
  
Olmec: SHUT-UP!!  
  
**During 60 seconds, Ken keeps missing all the soldiers everytime he gets up. Schuldig keeps joking around by sliding up and down the thing without worrying about the soldiers**  
  
Kirk Fogg: Times up... lets see.. The Green Monkeys and The Silver Snakes both got none... Sigh....  
  
Ken: ^_^ Did I win?  
  
Farfie: Did you hurt god?  
  
Crawford: This is horrible!  
  
Schuldig: No kidding, your breath is bad Crapford!  
  
Crawford: Don't call me that!  
  
Farfie: CRAPFORD! CRAPFORD!! CRAPFORD!!! CRAPFORD!!!!  
  
Craford: AH!!! *pulls out gun and fires*  
  
Kirk Fogg: *grabs a drink from the Bar off screen and starts drinking* Well...that means.. um.. 1/2 a pendant to everyone.. and anyone.. lalalala....  
  
Farfie: Hehe! He hurts god!  
  
Neu: CRAPFORD!!  
  
**Shot from Crawford hits Neu in the audience*  
  
Neu: X_X ............................................  
  
(There is 2 stands on the left and the right. 5 crewsman are standing around both of the stands. The players that finished with the first game are tied to a bungee support like structure and are hanging on near the top of the stand. There is a card-board platform on the bottom of each stand. There is 6 brown clothes attached to the board on the bottom. Attach the cloth to the enges of the pointing out tower on top of the stand. There is grips on the scaling of the stand. The other member is on the ground ready to go at the start while the member on the top falls down)  
  
Kirk Fogg: This game is worth a full pendant... BELCH!!! The mongols traveled in special tents called Urks which they mounted on wagons. Since our players have probably never seen one, we've decided to build on. When I say go, he will grab a flap and jump up and stick it in its place, and then fall back down. Then the other member will grab another flap, place it and come back down. The winner is the team who has the most complete Urk at the end of 60 seconds. Lets set the clock for 60 seconds!  
  
**Clock falls the lower right hand corner of the screen with 60 seconds on it and Olmec's symbol**  
  
Kirk Fogg: On your mark....get set...go!!  
  
Farfie: WWWEEEE.. *continues to jump up and down with Ken*  
  
Ken: *catches some of the peices of his hand* Get it off..  
  
Crawford: Hurry Schuldig!  
  
Schuldig: I'm not doing it!  
  
Crawford: *starts to strangle Schuldig* Why won't you work!!  
  
Schuldig: Uefhn....mnmdph...  
  
**By pure luck Ken and Farfello put up all the Pieces on the base. Crawford spends the time strangling Schuldig**  
  
Crawford: We didn't win because of you!!!  
  
Schuldig: m..mfmfgmgm..... PMS!....  
  
Crawford: WHY YOU LITTLE!!  
  
Schuldig: phemfmsm.. X_X  
  
Ken: We beat Crapford!!  
  
Crawford: Don't call me that!!! *Pulls out gun*  
  
Farfie: CRAPFORD HAS A STICK UP HIS BUTT AND WHEN THE RATS TRIED TO REMOVE IT THEY COULDN'T CAUSE IT WOULD HELP GOD, BUT THEY GOT SICK BECAUSE OF ALL THE CHICKEN THAT WAS FRYED... BUT THEN THEY RECOVERED TO SURVIVE THE WORLD EXPOLDING AND LEAVE PRESENTS FOR GOD IN HIS SHOES WHICH MADE HIM MAD AND HE MISSED BLOWING ME UP WHEN CRAPFORD HAD CRAMPS BECAUSE OF PMS!!  
  
Crawford: GO TO HELL!!! *Fires gun at Farfello*  
  
**Gun shot hits Olmec, bounces off and hits Crawford**  
  
Crawford: CRAP!!! X_X....  
  
Farfie: WE HURT GOD.. CHA-CHA-CHA!!! *Starts dancing*  
  
Kirk Fogg: *is now wearing a Hawaiian shirt and drinking alcohol from from a glass with a small umbrella* Well.. the um.. uh... Lalala.... Green Monkeys will be going on or something like that... um.. BURP!  
  
Schuldig: X_X  
  
Crawford: X_X  
  
Neu: X_X  
  
Aya: X_X  
  
Yohji: X_X  
  
Nagi and Omi: *still out-cold on their step which is still lit up* X_X  
  
Farfie: *dancing round the set* HURT GOD.. CHA-CHA-CHA!  
  
Ken: WE BEAT CRAPFORD...CHA-CHA-CHA... SCHULDIG CAN'T GET ME.. CHA-CHA- CHA!  
  
Olmec: *has on a Hawaiian hat and a drink with an umbrella in it; it has a straw connecting his mouth to the glass* Ah... Stupid job... stupid people.. God.. world..cheese... Rocks.. drinks.. Kirk.. Never called... me back.. date.. movies.. Ah...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Screen fades out~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	5. Legends of the Hidden Temple: Chp.5 Olme...

Chapter 5 Olmec's Temple **I DO NOT OWN WEISS KREUZ OR ANY OF THE NICK CHARACTERS**  
  
Temple Lay-out: ::ROOM:: Room of the 3 Gargoyles: has an opening in the center for going to the Ledges. There is a red door with marking on it in the center of the back wall. There us 3 gargoyles faces on the walls (on the right wall, and to the left and right of the red door) with a tounge dangling from each. Room is brown and has a door on the left side leading to the Pit. Ledges: Guide your way through the black ledges, small door leading to the pit, and another that is further up leads the way to the Room of the 3 Gargoyles. Pit: There is short path down to the Pit. Has styro-foam on bottom, is a wall climb. 3 ropes leading all the way up and down. There is a small door on the bottom right part (leading to the Tomb of the Headless Kings), and a small door in the middle (leading to Medusa's Lair), and large door on the right, then goes from the middle to the top (leading to the King's Storeroom). There's holes in the wall, but they are all square-shape. King's Storeroom: There are three bases in the room. There is three clay pots on the ridge in the back of the room. There is a door on the right (leading to the Pit) and the left (leading to the Spider's Lair). There is an opening in the center (that leads to Medusa's Lair). The room is old and looks like a real old storeroom. Medusa's Lair: Has plants and vines in the back. Looks ancient and is dark green colored in the back and around. There is four snakes around the room, plus a base towards the front {facing us looking in}, which has a head of Medusa on it, with 4 holes to place the snakes in. There is a ladder (leading to the King's Storeroom), and 2 red doors, one on the left (leading to the Spider's Lair), and one on the right (leading to the Pit). Tomb of the Headless Kings: Has a brown floor, and 3 bases, each holding a base body of a king, but no head. There is tathered vines and some other junk in the back. Its dark, and there are 4 ropes, one has a switch to drop a skull. The base bodies each have a place to put in a head. The doors are green with marking. There are doors to the right (leading to the Pit), and to the left (leading to Dark Forest), and a ladder (leads up to Medusa's Lair). Spider's Lair: A Green light is lumminated through out the entire room. There is white string all over the place enclosing it like a web. There are passages to the right (leading to the King's Storeroom), lower-right (leading to Medusa's Lair), and to the left (leading to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey). Its a dark background and the ground is covered in styrofoam things. Dark Forest: Is large and vast. Has a dark background, and is covered in a dark green light. There are three trees in the back of the room, and there also is some other fake trees. Plus some green leaves and vines. There is an opening to the right (leading to the Tomb of the Headless Kings), and one to the left (leading to the Tomb of the Ancient Kings). Has some styro-foam type things on the ground. Shrine of the Silver Monkey: Looks to be covered by some vines, and looks jungle like. Normal Room with 3 shelfs in the back at medium height. On each shelf is a piece out of the 3 of the silver monkey (base, body, and head). There is a stand that has a pink covering on the top, it where you put the silver monkey. There is a door in the back on the room, thats has marking on it. There are two doors, one on the left (leading to the Room of the Secret Password), and right one (leading to the Spider's Lair). Tomb of the Ancient Kings: The room has 3 brown mummy-tombs up-right on the back wall, all have a small keyhole in them. Each with a split opening. There is a tomb in the center that has ancient writing on it, and there is styrofoam type stuff on the ground. Plus near the front is 2 broken columns. There is 3 keys in the styrofoam type stuff on the ground. There is wall to the left that can be broken down (leading to the Mine Shaft), and a door to the right (leading to Dark Forest). Room of the Secret Password: Is a room that has small bases in the front and marking on the back brown walls. Vines hang near the top, and there are three cabinets in the back. Behind each cabinet is a small board that has a word on it. There is an opening in the center that has a platform going down (leading to the Mine Shaft). There is a door to the right with marking (leading to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey). Mine Shaft: Has a fallen skeleton in the back, and the background is black. There is styrofoam type stuff on the ground. A small platform is on the left side that rides up (leading to the Room of the Secret Password). There is wall that can be broken through on the right (leading to the Tomb of the Ancient Kings. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
**logo scrolls across the screen**  
  
**The team is standing with both players wearing yellow helmets, sweat pants, and their team's shirt, plus pads. Olemc is in background in between two smoking podiums**  
  
Kirk Fogg: Welcome back.. Olmec, Farfello  
  
Farfie: HURT GOD! YAY!!  
  
Kirk Fogg: And Ken, have earned the chance to go through your temple. Can you give them any hints as to how to reach the Helmet of Khan?  
  
Farfie: The helmet of what?  
  
Ken: Don't you listen to anything?  
  
Farfie: Um... no?  
  
Ken: Sigh.. *hand to head* Why me?...  
  
Kirk Fogg: Why me.. *sits down at the bar and orders a drink* I'd like a scotch. Bartender: Whatever you say boss..  
  
**Yohji is out-cold in the background by the moat. Omi and Nagi are still knocked out on the steps. Neu is passed out in the audience. Aya is trying to wake up Yohji. Tot and Schoen are shown in the sun relaxing. Hell is back stage getting her nails fixed. Crawford is passed out next to Schuldig on the mat for the 'Urk' game**  
  
Tot: This is the life..  
  
Schoen: You said it sister! *gives Tot a high five*  
  
**Back to the temple**  
  
Kirk Fogg: Um.. do something or other...  
  
Olmec: You could start in the room of the three Gargoyles, when you press the right tounge you could go to the Pit.. In the Pit, press the button on the door and see if it opens, it could lead you too... Kings Storeroom which you smash the right clay pot to use the key to open to door possibly to.. Medusa's Lair where you must put all the snakes back in her head to possibly open the door to... The Spider's Lair where you climb through the webbing to... The Shrine of Silver Monkey where you assemble the monkey to possibly open the door to... Room of the Secret Password where you say one of the three passwords to possibly open the door to the... Mine Shaft which you ride down or up to possibly get to.. The Tomb of the Ancient Kings which you.. Find the key on the ground to open one of the crypts in the back which may open the door that leads to... The Dark Forest where you reach inside the tree to pull out a key and open one of the opening in the back which could open the door to.... The Tomb of the Headless Kings where you pull the right rope to have a skull drop which you will put on the king's body which may open the door to.. The Pit which you race back through.. The Ledges to come out past the starting line and... YOU'LL WIN THE GAME!!!  
  
Farfie: WOW! A talking stone.  
  
Ken: What?  
  
Farfie: Thats a amazing!  
  
Ken: Are you a dolt?  
  
Farfie: I'm ready! Now what do we do??  
  
Ken: He just.. oh never mind...  
  
Olmec: The choices are yours and your alone! GOODLUCK!  
  
Farfie: For what?  
  
Ken: Shut-up!  
  
Farfie: FOR HURTING GOD?  
  
Ken: NO! NOW SHUT THE HE...  
  
Kirk Fogg: Thank you Olmec! Alright, You have won 2 pendants and here they are. *hands one pendant to Farfello and one to Ken*  
  
Ken: This is it?  
  
Farfie: *bites into the pendant* YUCK!  
  
Ken: Its a piece of junk. *throws it away*  
  
Farfie: HURT GOD! *throws pendant at Kirk*  
  
Kirk Fogg: Crap! That hurt!  
  
Ken: Its made in China!  
  
Farfie: WHICH HURTS GOD CAUSE WHEN HE GETS MAD AT THE WORLD HE BLOWS UP CHINA AND WHEN CHINA IS GONE THERE IS NO PENDANTS WHICH GIVE LIFE AND HELP PEOPLE SO THEN GOD GETS MAD AND RATS GET SICK AND LEAVE PRESENTS ....  
  
Kirk Fogg: Shut-up!  
  
Ken: Please..  
  
Farfie: HURTING GOD..  
  
Kirk Fogg: When you begin, your going to race through the temple gates and from there, make your way to Khan's helmet. There are many locked doors and dead ends, and in the temple are 3 temple guards, hidden in 3 temple rooms. And you must give them a pendant or else the other player must go in. When you find the helmet all the doors will unlock and all the temple guards will go away.  
  
Ken: Sounds easy enough..  
  
Kirk Fogg: Why do I bother?  
  
Farfie: I'M GOING TO WIN CAUSE WINNING THIS GAME AND GETTING PRIZES HURT GOD CAUSE IF WE WIN THE WORLD IS SAFE AND THERE IS NO CHINA AND WHEN THERE IS NO CHINA..  
  
Kirk Fogg: I need a vacation..  
  
Ken: I need a new partner..  
  
Olmec: I need a pager..  
  
Ken: ()_()  
  
Olmec: So I can get messages back..  
  
Kirk Fogg: I said I was gonna call!  
  
Olmec: Be quiet, i'm not speaking to you..  
  
  
  
***On the far side of the stage....***  
  
Aya: Shi-ne Yohji! Wake-up!!  
  
Yohji: *shakes head* What happened?  
  
Aya: I have an idea how to get into the temple..  
  
Yohji: How..  
  
Aya: *pulls out katana* Follow me..  
  
  
  
***Back to the Temple***  
  
Kirk Fogg: Are you ready?  
  
Farfie: TO HURT GOD?  
  
Ken: No he meant the temple you twit!  
  
Farfie: Does it hurt god?  
  
Kirk Fogg: Why do I bother.. *walks back to bar and starts drinking his scotch*  
  
Olmec: Just go!  
  
Farfie: GO WHERE?  
  
Ken: In the temple!  
  
Farfie: How?  
  
Ken: Lets just go..  
  
Farfie: WWWWWEEEEEE..... *runs straight into the base* Ouch..  
  
Ken: Hurry!  
  
Farfie: Fine, i'll hurry!  
  
Ken: GOOD!! ^_^  
  
Farfie: *races up with Ken, who's ahead of him*  
  
Ken: *has reached the Room of the Three Gargoyles* Finally!  
  
Farfie: I think i'm stuck!  
  
Ken: How can you be stuck?  
  
Farfie: I'm stuck in the ledges.. *has his butt to the audience and is stuck in one of the top ledges*  
  
Ken: *raises down the opening to pull Farfello out* Ugh!  
  
Farfie: PULL HARDER!  
  
Ken: Quiet Tubby! *Pulls Farfello loose, but he goes flying past him*  
  
Farfie: Wwwwwwwwwoooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww......... *goes flying into one of the gargoyle faces and it breaks instead of opening the door*  
  
Ken: You broke it?  
  
Farfie: YAY! WE HURT GOD!  
  
Ken: But you broke it!  
  
Farfie: Lets go..  
  
Ken: We can't cause you broke the button that opens the door!  
  
Farfie: OH... *starts trying to open the door* Stupid.. *$^#^#^@$#(%#()%(#%..  
  
Ken: This sux..  
  
Farfie: I know!  
  
Ken: How?  
  
  
  
**Camera fades to Kirk Fogg who is dowzing drink after drink. Olmec is beside him with a giant drink and straw**  
  
Kirk Fogg: One of these days I'm going to maurry. .. you..  
  
Olmec: You very.. very.. purty tonight...  
  
Kirk Fogg: Hehe.. BURP!  
  
  
  
**Aya and Yohji are approaching the temple guards who are having a smoke by the big Temple* Aya: Hiya boys!  
  
Yohji: Now what?  
  
Guard 1: Who are you?  
  
Guard 2: Must be a bunch of retards..  
  
Guard 3: Ah, maybe their sick bastards..  
  
Aya: Shi-ne!!!  
  
**Aya and Yohji beat up the guards and steal their costumes and begin to try and hide in the temple**  
  
Aya: You aren't so stupid after all...  
  
Yohji: Yea, maybe we should work together more often.. $_$  
  
Aya: *_* Not a chance..  
  
Yohji: I agree..  
  
**Farfie pulls out his knives and swips them at the door for about aminute**  
  
Ken: See, it didn't work!  
  
Farfie: It worked... *presses door with his finger and it falls to shreds*  
  
Ken: Maybe you aren't such a bad partner..  
  
Farfie: WINNING THIS GAME HURTS GOD, AND WHEN THERE NO RATS CAUSE OF THEM BEING SICK BECAUSE OF FRYED CHICKEN..  
  
Ken: Maybe I was wrong...  
  
Ken: What your..  
  
Farfie: *walks to the pit and falls* WOOOAAAHH!!  
  
Ken: Step...  
  
**Crawford and Schuldig regain consciousness**  
  
Crawford: Wait! We can't loose!! Hurry, to the Temple!!  
  
Schuldig YAY! We're going to get Ken!  
  
Crawford: @_@  
  
Schuldig I mean defeat him and Farfello...  
  
Crawford: Sure...  
  
Schuldig Shut-up CRAPFORD!!  
  
**Farfello and Ken press the top button and are slowly trying to make it through the door**  
  
Ken: Maybe you should lose some weight!  
  
Farfie: THATS NOT FUNNY! *finally reachs the big door and crawls through to the King's Storeroom*  
  
Ken: What do we do know?  
  
Farfie: What are looking for?  
  
Ken: Huh?  
  
Farfie: Who?  
  
Ken: What?  
  
Farfie: When?  
  
Ken: Where?  
  
Farfie: Why?  
  
Ken: That the hell?!  
  
Farfie: Confusion hurts god!  
  
Ken: AH! *hand to head* Why me...  
  
**Hell is backstage filing her nails**  
  
Hell: Never will they make fun of me again... I'll get my revenge.. OH MY IT'S TWO O'CLOCK!!! MY SOAPS!!!  
  
**Crawford and Schuldig are in the Pit**  
  
Crawford: You better not screw this up!  
  
Schuldig: Which way do we go?  
  
Crawford: Three doors...  
  
Schuldig: Lets take the bottom one..  
  
Crawford: Why?  
  
Schuldig: Cause I think Ken might have gone that way!  
  
Crawford: Sigh... fine..  
  
Schuldig: *presses the bottom button* Lets go!  
  
Crawford: Hurry! There's no way we're going to lose to those two idiots!  
  
Schuldig: I'm hurrying! *Crawls through the bottom door to get the Tomb of the Ancient Kings*  
  
**Aya and Yohji split up to cover separate rooms**  
  
Aya: I'll go itno the Dark Forest!  
  
Yohji: Where should I go?  
  
Aya: You head to Room of the Secret Password!  
  
Yohji: Okay!  
  
Aya: *is pointing at Yohji* Hahaha..  
  
Yohji: What's so funny?  
  
Aya: Your wearing a dress and you have a headdress on!  
  
Yohji: So do you! *walks off to the Room of the Secret Password*  
  
Aya: *storms off the Dark Forest* Shi-ne!  
  
**Kirk Fogg and Olmec are drinking at the bar still**  
  
Kirk Fogg: Remember that fourth of July party?  
  
Olmec: Nope..  
  
Kirk Fogg: Yea, me either...  
  
Olmec: Wanna have another?  
  
Kirk Fogg: Two *holds up 3 fingers* more scotches please...  
  
**Omi and Nagi both wake up and their step stops flashing**  
  
Omi: My head hurts..  
  
Nagi: So does mine..  
  
Omi: Hm.  
  
Nagi: I have an idea..  
  
Omi: What?  
  
Nagi: Wanna go try and win the temple!  
  
Omi: YEA!  
  
Nagi: You me can win everything!  
  
Omi: YAY!  
  
**Both race off the temple where they go up the ledges, into the Pit, and then open the middle door**  
  
Omi: Isn't middle bad luck?  
  
Nagi: I don't know, is it?  
  
Omi: I don't think so..  
  
Nagi: Hm..  
  
Omi: *both climb into Medusa's Lair* Well..  
  
Nagi: AH! THERE'S A HEAD!!  
  
Omi: AH!!!  
  
Nagi: Oh wait its not real..  
  
Omi: Haha... I knew that....  
  
Nagi: Hehe...  
  
Omi: I think we have to put the snakes in her head to go on..  
  
Nagi: We do?  
  
Omi: Uck!  
  
Nagi: You do it!  
  
Omi: NO YOU!  
  
Nagi: Not a chance!  
  
**Aya has made his way into the Dark Forest through the back-stage area**  
  
Aya: Hm.. where to hide... *looks at the trees* I know..  
  
**Jumps into the Tree suit and get stuck**  
  
Aya: Shi-ne! Its stuck! Least I can move in this...kinda...  
  
**Neu wakes up in the audience**  
  
Neu: Thank goodness.. I'm alright! Now to get... *falls down the steps* Ughphem,, X_X....  
  
**Hell is backstage watching her Soap Operas and eating pocorn**  
  
Hell: That Miguel is so cute...Ha... she's actually sleeping with her apparent lover, but its not its his ex....  
  
**Ken and Farfello are in the King's Storeroom**  
  
Ken: What do we do?  
  
Farfie: Hurry we must!!  
  
Ken: What?  
  
Farfie: I'm confused...  
  
Ken: We have to smash the pots and insert the key into the right base...  
  
Farfie: Does it hurt god?  
  
Ken: YES IT HURTS GOD!  
  
Farfie: YAY! SMASHY!!! SMASHY!!! *breaks open all three pots at once*  
  
Ken: WOW! That's amazing!  
  
Farfie: Amazing?  
  
Ken: How did you do that?  
  
Farfie: Do what?  
  
Ken: Why me... *picks up the 3 keys and begins to insert them into the bases*  
  
Farfie: What now?  
  
**The door unlocks and opens up to the Spider's Lair**  
  
Ken: YAY! *runs to the next room and drags Farfello with*  
  
Farfie: HURT GOD.......  
  
  
  
**Yohji walks into the Room of the Secret Password**  
  
Yohji: Yay! Finally, now I just have to wait.. *picks up some of the panels behind the cabinets and reads the words* Maybe I can have some fun.... *pulls out a marker and starts writing new words*... ^_^....  
  
**Bar has Kirk Fogg is dancing around on the bar stool**  
  
Kirk Fogg: Lalalala.....  
  
Olmec: Dance.. Dance!!  
  
**Schuldig and Crawford are in the Tomb of the Headless Kings**  
  
Schuldig: Pull one of the ropes!  
  
Crawford: *pulls 2 of the ropes* Nope...  
  
Schuldig: Let me help!!  
  
Crawford: No!  
  
Schuldig: Just one..  
  
Crawford: Fine...  
  
Schuldig: *pulls one of the other ropes and a skull drops* COOL!  
  
Crawford: Oh no.. *skull his Crawford on the head* X_X...  
  
Schuldig: ^_^ Ha, Crapford is out-cold... *kicks Crawford, and then places the skull on the body, opening the door to the Dark Forest*  
  
Crawford: X_X  
  
Schuldig: My luck day.... *races off to the Dark Forest* Bye.. Crapford!  
  
**Aya is still hiding in the Dark Forest**  
  
Aya: I hear someone coming...  
  
**Person walks into the room and Aya grabs him**  
  
Aya: Gotcha!!  
  
Schuldig: Hiya.. hot-stuff!  
  
Aya: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! *runs off into the Tomb of the Headless Kings* STAY AWAY!!!!  
  
Schuldig: Geez.. what was his problem... *reaches into a tree, pulls out a key, and open the door to the Tomb of the Ancient Kings* I'm almost there....  
  
**Omi and Nagi are still stuck on Medusa's Lair**  
  
Omi: Maybe if we...  
  
Nagi: Head-butt it together  
  
Omi: We maybe able to knock it off the base...  
  
Nagi: Which would open the door...  
  
Omi: *runs at the Medusa head* YA!  
  
Nagi: YA! *runs at the Medusa head, head first*  
  
**Nagi and Omi run at the Medusa head and break it. Omi and Nagi fall back and through the hole in the center that leads to the Tomb of the Headless Kings**  
  
Omi: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH......  
  
Nagi: Oh my...........  
  
Omi: Save........  
  
Nagi: Me................  
  
  
  
**The bar is being danced on by the bartender and Kirk Fogg*  
  
Kirk Fogg and the Bartender: Lala...lala...lala..la..la.lala..la la..lala.. *are dancing to the can-can dance*  
  
Olmec: LALALA...  
  
**Crawford gets up**  
  
Crawford: *dusts himself off* Well.. I'm not through yet...  
  
Aya: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Crawford: AH! A TREE!!!  
  
Aya: *knocks over Crawford and causes some things to break in the room* AH! *Hits head on wall* Shi-ne... X_X..  
  
Crawford: *stands up and dusts self off* Well that was close..  
  
Omi and Nagi: WATCH OUT BELOW!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Crawford: Not again! AH!  
  
**Omi and Nagi land on Crawford**  
  
Omi and Nagi: Cool we survived..  
  
Crawford: Lucky you....X_X...  
  
**Neu gets up from the stairs**  
  
Neu: Phew.. Well its time for my....... *trips on a piece of rope, hits head on one of the poles and falls into the moat* Glug...glughh... X_X  
  
**Yohji has changed the words on the panels**  
  
Yohji: Sounds much better, Crapford, Blowme, and Kissmybutt...  
  
**Shots of the ocean are in the background. A muscle man is rubbing lotion on Tot's back, while Schoen is taking in the sunlight for a tan**  
  
Tot: This is the life...  
  
Schoen: Much better then games.. ah.....  
  
**Aya get up from the Tomb of the Headles Kings and walks out**  
  
Aya: Shi-ne Tree... Stupid game...  
  
**Omi and Nagi get up and go on to the Dark Forest**  
  
Omi: Onward and outward!  
  
Nagi: We kick butt, isn't that right Crapford?  
  
Crawford: X_X  
  
Omi: Hehe, bye Crapford!  
  
Nagi: Crapford, hehe..  
  
  
  
**Schuldig is in the Tomb of the Ancient Kings**  
  
Schuldig: Well, all I have to do is find that stupid key....  
  
  
  
**Ken and Farfello have made their way past the Spider's Lair to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey**  
  
Ken: We're almost there....  
  
Farfie: Hurt god.. cha-cha-cha..  
  
Ken: *grabs all three peices* Lets get to work!  
  
--half hour later--..  
  
**Schuldig has torn apart the entire Tomb of the Ancient Kings**  
  
Schuldig: WHERE THE HELL IS THAT DAMN KEY!!!???  
  
  
  
**Kirk Fogg is doing Karoke and Olmec is listening**  
  
Kirk Fogg: I got you.......babe..lala...  
  
Olmec: Me and you... lala.....  
  
**Ken and Farfie are still working on the monkey**  
  
Ken: No wait, lets try it this way.. no wait..  
  
Farfie: This sux.. God is pleased!!! NO!!!!!  
  
Ken: Almost got it, there! *monkey looks nothing like its supposed to*  
  
Farfie: I didn't know the monkey had a butt for a head!  
  
Ken: THIS SUX!  
  
Farfie: This monkey hurts god!  
  
**Hell is heard laughing from the background**  
  
Hell: That bastards been cheating on you!! *screaming at the t.v.*  
  
**Neu is drying herself off from the water**  
  
Neu: I look like a wet rat... UGH! *starts walking toward the temple* Its time for Rev...en...ge... *trips on wire and runs into the eletrical board for the temple* Son of. A..... klajfjsfhsfjfnd.......... X_X *hair is standing up*  
  
  
  
**Yohji is tired of waiting and begins to go down the elevator for the Mine Shaft**  
  
Yohji: Forget it, this prize is mine! WwwwwwOooooooooAaaaaaaaaaHhhhhhhhhhh.... *elevator keeps going up and down because the electrical circut board is fryed*  
  
  
  
**Omi and Nagi are walking through the Temple Rooms as the lights keep flashing on and off and the doors keep opening and closing**  
  
Omi: This can't be a good sign...  
  
Nagi: I'm scared, hold me..  
  
Schuldig: Shut-up and help me find this damn key, the door won't open without it!  
  
Nagi: Yay! This could be fun!  
  
Omi: Like a game!  
  
Nagi: First one to win is a loser!  
  
Omi: Hehe, this should be fun!  
  
Schuldig: ITS NOT FUN!!! FIND THIS STUPID KEY!!!  
  
**Crawford stands up and wanders around the Temple with his gun his hand ready to anyone and anything**  
  
Crawford: Where is everyone?  
  
Schuldig: HELP US YOU BUM!  
  
Omi: WWWweeee....  
  
Nagi: This is fun Crapford..  
  
Omi: We're finding a key!  
  
Nagi: For Schuldig...  
  
Omi: Because he has PMS.  
  
Schuldig: I do not!!!!!  
  
Crawford: *puts his gun away* Fine, so where in hell's name is it?  
  
Schuldig: I don't know, i've spent my entire time trying to find it!  
  
Omi: Found it!  
  
Schuldig: REALLY????  
  
Crawford: DID YOU??  
  
Omi: No wait, its just lint!  
  
Nagi: *is swimming in the styro-foam* This is fun....  
  
  
  
**Kirk Fogg is now wearing a temple guard out-fit**  
  
Kirk Fogg: I don't thig.... gren is mi colar....  
  
Olmec: Hick.. nop.. I don thiy sool....  
  
Bartender: I love you guys!  
  
  
  
**Neu has her hair standing up and her hair has turned black**  
  
Neu: Finally... woah.. time to get my... *trips and goes flying into the Mine Shaft*  
  
Yohji: Help me!!! *is going up and down on the elevator*  
  
Neu: X_X....  
  
Yohji: @_@ HELP!  
  
  
  
**Ken and Farfie have the monkey all messed up and out of order**  
  
Ken: *starts jumping up and down* WHY WON'T YOU WORK...  
  
Farfie: *starts jumping up and down* JUMPING HURTS GOD!!!!  
  
Ken and Farfie: *fall through the ground and into the Tomb of the Ancient Kings* WOAH!  
  
Ken: We made it!  
  
Farfie: My head is spinning.. This hurts god! YAY!  
  
Schuldig: Damn key!  
  
Crawford: Where is it!?  
  
Omi: Found it!!  
  
Schuldig: FINALLY!!!  
  
Nagi: No wait, its just more of this fluff!  
  
Omi: Fluff is cool!  
  
Nagi: Fluff is fun!  
  
Crawford: WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE HELL UP!!!  
  
Ken: What do we do?  
  
Farfie: We can help you hurt god!  
  
Crawford: Besides killing Nagi and Omi, find this stupid key!  
  
Farfie: YAY! KILL!  
  
Nagi: *uses powers to make the tomb crash down on Crawford* Take that Crapford!  
  
Omi: ^_^ Yay!  
  
Nagi: We did it!  
  
Crawford: Damn you.. X_X  
  
**Hell is all dress up and is going through the top half of the temple because her shows are over**  
  
Hell: *finally reaches the Room of the secret password* Now I just have to read the passwords and win! *Grabs panels and begins to read the words* BLOWME! Wait.. what the hell? Um.. next word.. CRAPFORD!! What the... Ugh.. last word.. KISSMYBUTT!!! Who the heck did this?!  
  
Yohji: Hey ba.........bbbeeeee... *still going up and down* ~@_@~ HELP!  
  
Hell: Go to...  
  
*In the Mine Shaft*  
  
Neu: Hell, where are you?  
  
Yohji: Watch out!!! *Elevator falls down and his Neu*  
  
Neu: Reveevnnnggggee.... X_X  
  
Yohji: @_@...  
  
Hell: *jumps down* Finally its all...  
  
Omi and Nagi: OURS!!!!! *break through the right wall and ram straight at her*  
  
Hell: WAIT!!  
  
Crawford: *dusts self off* Its mine!!!  
  
Schuldig: Your all wrong it mine!!  
  
Farfie: I found it!  
  
Ken: Found what?  
  
Nagi: The key! Now you find the key.. where was it?  
  
Farfie: I had it all along!  
  
Schuldig: ()_O...  
  
Neu: Its mine.. X_X...  
  
Ken: No its.. wait, where's the helmet?  
  
Schuldig: ITS NOT HERE!!!!!!!!  
  
**By the bar, Aya is sitting down and having a drink**  
  
Aya: *holding the helmet* Worthless piece of junk... *throws it in the garbage to the side*  
  
Kirk Fogg: Lets all have drinks.. on me..  
  
Aya: Shi-ne... BURP!.. Lalala...  
  
Olmec: Oh yeuhgm....  
  
Bartender: *is dancing* I got you babe...lalala...  
  
**Back in the Temple everyone is running around**  
  
Crawford: *pulls out gun* That it!!! *starts firing with one hand and choking Schuldig with the other*  
  
Schuldig: Gmp...hem..mfmd.. not again.....  
  
Farfie: Hurt god.. cha-cha-cha! *takes out knives an begins shredding everything* Cha-cha-cha!  
  
Ken: Let me help! *grabs the monkey parts and begins throwing them everywhere* DAMN MONKEY!!  
  
**Walks out of the Temple to the bar only to find the helmet in the trash- can**  
  
Hell: I QUIT!!! Wait a second.. *picks up helmet* YES!! I WON!!  
  
  
  
Yohji: Well looks like I made it out okay! *turns around to see Neu with one of the king statues*  
  
Neu: YOUR MINE!!!  
  
Yohji: OH Dear.... *starts running around the set*  
  
Neu: COME BACK HERE!!! *chases him around the set waving the king statue*  
  
  
  
**Omi and Nagi are stuck in the Room of the Secret Password**  
  
Omi: Lets crash through the wall..  
  
Nagi: HOW?  
  
Omi: I know...  
  
**Crawford has pulled out his gun and begins firing at Schuldig**  
  
Crawford: DIE!!! *fires gun; it hits one of the crypts and bounces off*  
  
Schuldig: AH!! *Ducks and shot hits Crawford*  
  
Crawford: Of all the damn.. X_X.....  
  
Schuldig: Now its time to get me something I wanted...  
  
**Ocean is shown the background and Tot and Schoen are dancing on the beach with 2 guys**  
  
Tot: This is the life....  
  
Schoen: I wonder what's happening back at the show..  
  
Tot: You think everything went wrong and everyone is running around going nuts and all hell is breaking loose?  
  
Schoen: *_*.... Nah..  
  
  
  
**Omi and Nagi run head first into the wall**  
  
Omi: Open...  
  
Nagi: FOR US!!!  
  
  
  
**Schuldig sneaks up behind Ken and grabs him**  
  
Schuldig: Hiya hot thang..  
  
Ken: Save me... *takes off running through the temple and knocks things as he runs*  
  
Schuldig: Come back here! I WANT MY PRIZE!! *runs after him*  
  
Farfie: BY DESTORYING HIS TEMPLE, IT HURTS GOD!!  
  
  
  
**Everyone's doing Can-Can dance**  
  
Aya: Lalalala... %_%.....  
  
Kirk Fogg: Lala.. %_%....  
  
Olmec: Lala..lalalala... %_%...  
  
Bartender: I love you guys.. *collapses* X_X...  
  
Hell: BABY GOT BACK!!! I WON!!! LALA!!! I WON!!!! *shaking her butt* ^_^...  
  
Neu: REVENGE!!!!!!!! COME BACK HERE!!!! ~_~....  
  
Yohji: SAVE ME.... @_@...  
  
Ken: Help me!!!! @_@....  
  
Schuldig: YOU KNOW YOU WANT SOME OF SCHULDIG!!! EVERYONE DOES!! ^_^...  
  
Crawford: X_X...  
  
Omi: IT WAS... X_x  
  
Nagi: REAL.. x_X...  
  
**Temple collapses down**  
  
Farfie: ^_^ .. BY DEFEATING THE TEMPLE GOD MADE, IT CAUSED HIM TO BLOW UP THE WORLD EXCEPT FOR ME AND WHEN THERE WAS NO CHINA HE GOT MADE BECAUSE THERE WAS NO MONGOLS TO TAKE OVER CHINA AND WHEN THE MONGOLS DIDN'T TAKE OVER, INSTEAD THEY FED THE RATS FRYED CHICKEN WHICH CAUSED THEM TO GET SICK AND WHEN THEY GOT SICK THEY GOT MAD WHICH MADE THEM LEAVE PRESENTS IN PEOPLE SHOES BECAUSE THEY HAD PMS LIKE CRAPFORD AND THEN THEY GOT CRAMPS AND WHEN GOD WOKE UP IN THE MORNING HE PUT HIS FEET IN THE SHOES AND HE FOUND PRESENTS WHICH HHHUUURRRTTT GGGOOODDD!!!!!!!  
  
Schuldig: KISS....^_^...  
  
Bartender: MY...XX_XX..  
  
Omi: DOG..x_X...  
  
Nagi: BECAUSE...X_x...  
  
Crawford: GUN...X_X...  
  
Tot: ARE...^_^..  
  
Schoen: SWEET...^_^...  
  
Aya: SHI-NE...%_%..  
  
Yohji: HELP...@_@...  
  
Ken: ME...'@_@'...  
  
Neu: COME... *_*...  
  
Hell: WIN... ^_^...  
  
Farfie: HURT GOD!  
  
**Screams are heard... audience panics and runs away.. a giant fire is shown in the background... the entire set falls..**  
  
**Screen fades black** 


End file.
